There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Does Change Mean Radical?

I didn't think I was making a radical statement when, I decided to stop relaxing/perming my hair and go all natural.  You can read about my first post on this subject here.  I was just tired of relaxing my very short hair cut.  So, I shaved the sides and the back down to the natural, and did twist outs in the top while the relaxer continued to grow out.

Yesterday I grew mad tired of the twist outs in the top.  Today I cut the rest of the relaxer out of the top and, now my entire crown of glory is AU-NATURAL.  I love it ya'll!!!!!!!  I feel so free.  It has really been a bit of a spiritual experience.  Stay with me and as my pastor always says, we'll unpack that last statement. ;)

Remember this statement from my first post about transitioning my hair? "I posted this on my facebook page and the general consensus was to go for it. But I had one black, male friend who adamantly suggested I, "don't do it!"  He also said..."Yatta you know that mess aint cute!" 

Now here is where the subject can get controversial.  You know like how the black race has been conditioned to believe what is beautiful, how our perception of beauty stems from slavery and all of that. 

But I'm not going there today.  That's a later post. :)"

Well this is THAT post.  After I cut my hair today, I realized that, I AM making a radical statement.  I love who I am!  Black women have, for a long time, been brainwashed into believing what is "beautiful."  It started back in slavery when the master divided the light skinned slaves from the dark skinned slaves, and pit them against one another.  And we are still suffering from that systematic separation.

I can remember being in kindergarten, wishing I had long blond hair and blue eyes like my class mates.  I can also remember as I got older, wishing I was light skinned with "good" hair.  After all, "those" black people were treated better and the light skinned gals got all of the attention.

Now don't get me wrong I don't say any of this with bitterness, although there was a time when I was bitter.  However, it's just how it was and I'm not mad or bitter any more.  With that said, basically you had to be white, or look white to be considered attractive.  And I know black men have been through the same.  But the chocolate brothas are in now.  Dark sistas still can't get no love.

My husband is Latino.  He comes from a race whose women have long, gorgeous, flowing hair.  I was worried about what he would think of this hair cut.  But you know what?  My Latino husband married a BLACK woman!  You get what you married.  And besides my hair was short when I met him, AND he loves this new style I'm rockin'. Hee hee. 

Anywho, I am now free of ALL of that with this "radical" hair cut of mine. :)  It was like a 50lb weight was lifted off of my shoulders.  My head is big ya'll, but it does not way 50lbs! :)  The reason I said it was spiritual is because, it was like FINALLY I am happy with how God created me!  I have embraced my negro friends!

I am no lounger bound to relaxer and the pursuit of long, straight hair.  My God-given natural curls are beautiful and I AM ROCKING THEM! Okay?!  My chocolate skin is beautiful and God did not make any mistakes with my hair texture, eye color, height, or anything else when he formed me in my mother's womb.

Can I get an Amen?  Amen!

Now this is my experience and my truth.  I'm not knocking sistas who are still relaxing their hair.  I am 40 years old and JUST discovered who I am.  I don't know if I might even go back to a relaxer one day.  Right now I'm pretty sure I won't.  But who knows what I'll do when I turn 80. ;)


The natural me:



  1. I think it looks gorgeous! But you know, I don't think it's even just a racial thing. Unless we're confident and love ourselves, we all want something different than what we have. I have one daughter with AMAZING, long, fast growing, thick, beautiful hair. She looks at it and says "I wish I had curls!"....My other daughter, whose hair frizzes like there's no tomorrow - "I wish my hair would just be straight!!" I spent so many years thinking I'd be prettier if I was thin...and so it goes with ALMOST every woman I know. God made each of us exactly as He intended us to be. I wish it was easier for us to accept and love ourselves exactly as who we are!

  2. Amen Tracy! I have two daughters with the same hair story as yours. It is true that we always want what we don't have, instead of thanking God for what he gave us!

  3. Every time I see you I think "that is a beautiful woman".. And you are, inside and out..
    I'm a little envious of your eyebrows ;)

  4. Aww thank you Ren. I really appreciate that!

  5. This is soooooooo awesome!!!!!!!! Mommy I absolutely adore you and this blog is something that every woman should read!!!! I love you! Hang in there Diva!!!!!!

  6. Thank you Alia. You will get to see it even better when you come back home. Miss you my first-born! :)

    Thank you Annette, I am enjoying the new look. :)

  7. Looks great! Now spend that "perm" money on some fun stuff!