There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Does Change Mean Radical?

I didn't think I was making a radical statement when, I decided to stop relaxing/perming my hair and go all natural.  You can read about my first post on this subject here.  I was just tired of relaxing my very short hair cut.  So, I shaved the sides and the back down to the natural, and did twist outs in the top while the relaxer continued to grow out.

Yesterday I grew mad tired of the twist outs in the top.  Today I cut the rest of the relaxer out of the top and, now my entire crown of glory is AU-NATURAL.  I love it ya'll!!!!!!!  I feel so free.  It has really been a bit of a spiritual experience.  Stay with me and as my pastor always says, we'll unpack that last statement. ;)

Remember this statement from my first post about transitioning my hair? "I posted this on my facebook page and the general consensus was to go for it. But I had one black, male friend who adamantly suggested I, "don't do it!"  He also said..."Yatta you know that mess aint cute!" 

Now here is where the subject can get controversial.  You know like how the black race has been conditioned to believe what is beautiful, how our perception of beauty stems from slavery and all of that. 

But I'm not going there today.  That's a later post. :)"

Well this is THAT post.  After I cut my hair today, I realized that, I AM making a radical statement.  I love who I am!  Black women have, for a long time, been brainwashed into believing what is "beautiful."  It started back in slavery when the master divided the light skinned slaves from the dark skinned slaves, and pit them against one another.  And we are still suffering from that systematic separation.

I can remember being in kindergarten, wishing I had long blond hair and blue eyes like my class mates.  I can also remember as I got older, wishing I was light skinned with "good" hair.  After all, "those" black people were treated better and the light skinned gals got all of the attention.

Now don't get me wrong I don't say any of this with bitterness, although there was a time when I was bitter.  However, it's just how it was and I'm not mad or bitter any more.  With that said, basically you had to be white, or look white to be considered attractive.  And I know black men have been through the same.  But the chocolate brothas are in now.  Dark sistas still can't get no love.

My husband is Latino.  He comes from a race whose women have long, gorgeous, flowing hair.  I was worried about what he would think of this hair cut.  But you know what?  My Latino husband married a BLACK woman!  You get what you married.  And besides my hair was short when I met him, AND he loves this new style I'm rockin'. Hee hee. 

Anywho, I am now free of ALL of that with this "radical" hair cut of mine. :)  It was like a 50lb weight was lifted off of my shoulders.  My head is big ya'll, but it does not way 50lbs! :)  The reason I said it was spiritual is because, it was like FINALLY I am happy with how God created me!  I have embraced my negro friends!

I am no lounger bound to relaxer and the pursuit of long, straight hair.  My God-given natural curls are beautiful and I AM ROCKING THEM! Okay?!  My chocolate skin is beautiful and God did not make any mistakes with my hair texture, eye color, height, or anything else when he formed me in my mother's womb.

Can I get an Amen?  Amen!

Now this is my experience and my truth.  I'm not knocking sistas who are still relaxing their hair.  I am 40 years old and JUST discovered who I am.  I don't know if I might even go back to a relaxer one day.  Right now I'm pretty sure I won't.  But who knows what I'll do when I turn 80. ;)


The natural me:


Thursday, June 9, 2011

When A Man Leaves A Woman

Upset man leaving woman and son\\"15 Love Rules for Married Women"\\Photo: David Seed Photography\Getty ImagesI know, it's a far cry from the song, When a Man Loves a Woman.  But as the saying goes, it's a thin line between love and hate.  My first marriage ended in divorce and at the time, it was the hardest thing in the world for me to go through.

God sent older, Christian women into my life, who mentored me during this time.  We are still good friends to this day.  One thing they always told me was that, one day I would be able to reach back and help a woman that was going through the same thing I went through.

Those prophetic words have manifested in my life in the last month.  I've been talking with and supporting a younger friend who is, going through a separation from her husband that is not by her choice.  I already know that there are no words that can erase the pain she is feeling.

However, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that light is Jesus Christ.  So my prayer for all women who are facing losing your husbands, is that God would give you his peace that surpasses all understanding.  I pray that in the midst of what you are enduring, you will draw close to the Son.  And for those of you who don't know Jesus, I pray that he sends a Christian woman into your life to, help you in these difficult times.

It does get better.  Just remember, gold is not refined until it goes through the fire.

Your friend,

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Setting Goals

I have never really been one to set goals. I know what I want and I take the necessary, and some not-so-necessary steps to get it. But can I tell you a little secret? We're friends so, it's cool right? Well here it is, with my no-goal-setting self, I NEVER SEEM TO FINISH ANYTHING!

There it is. I put myself on blast. How 'bout that? I've been to 5, count em, 5, four year colleges and still don't have a degree! Now how on earth do you attend more colleges than it takes in years to finish college,and not have a degree?

Now I'm not going to bag on myself too hard here. Within those years, I joined the military, went to war, married twice and had four kids. Plus my kids ARE pretty AWESOME! But this is not a mom blog, so I'm not going there...not today anyway.

Anywho, at 40, I'm thinking about a lot! Maybe I should actually start writing down some goals. You know make them tangible. Might this possibly help me stay on track? Anything is possible with God. I sure need to remember that my friends.

Recently my girl Ren, over at it's a new day, who also attends my very cool church Lifegate, posted a great article on five reasons, you should commit to writing down your goals.The article is written by Michael Hyatt of Intentional Leadership.  Random...wonder if owns the hotel chain?

Okay, back to the subject at hand.  Here are the five reasons you should commit to writing down your goals:

1.  Because it will force you to clarify what you want.
2.  Because it will motivate you to take action.
3.  Because it will provide a filter for other opportunities.
4.  Because it will help you overcome resistance.
5.  Because it will enable you to see—and celebrate—your progress.

Aren't those reasons awesome?   If you would like to read the article in detail click on Michael's name up there and it will take you directly to the article.  So I was sitting around today looking at my house and all that I need to get done.  My first thought was to try and tackle it all today.  But after reading this article, I thought, why not relax today, I mean it IS Sunday and write down some cleaning goals for tomorrow? 

So my goal for tonight is to actually write down my goals for tomorrow!


Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Random Acts Of Kindness


Have you ever done anything for a stranger without expecting anything in return?  A couple of times I have paid for the car behind me when I've gone to McDonalds.  That simple act of giving, gives me such joy. 

I was recently contacted by Pampers and asked to participate in their launch of Miracles Missions, in celebration of its 50th birthday.  A pay-it-forward program was designed to deliver acts of kindness to little miracles and their families while challenging the public - like you - to support others within your very own communities.

I was sent a $50 American Express gift card from Pampers, with the challenge of performing a random act of kindness and paying the gift card forward to a family in need.

I was super excited to come up with a way to pay my gift card forward.  However, the best thing about participating is that Pampers has also given me a $50 American Express gift card to giveaway to one of you, with the challenge of paying it forward as well.

What random act of kindness did I perform?  I contacted the Life Care department at my church Lifegate, and requested that the card be given to a family in our church that was, in need and had small children.  Pretty cool hugh?

With that said, my question to you my friends is, how would you pay your gift card forward?  I will send the card to whoever comes up with the most creative idea.  Have fun!

1) Tell me the most creative way you would pay your card forward
2) Follow me here on Blogger or by Email - winner will be verified

Contest Ends June 8, 2011

Good Luck!
Buena Suerte!

From Pampers:
Little Miracle Mission

Let’s make a dad's first Father’s Day one he’ll never forget. The mission is to help give dads the time he and his baby deserve to bond. 

As it's so critical to his baby's development. Just by running some of his errands, covering his late meeting at work or helping him out with some chores at home can make room for some precious quality time with his little miracle. Pick one or one of your own and tell us how it goes.

For committing to help, you can enter The Little Miracles sweepstakes for a chance to win free diapers and wipes for a year.

Pampers' Pledge

If we get 4,000 commitments to complete the mission, Pampers will throw special Father’s Day cook-outs for dads and babies across the country designed to give dads and their babies valuable bonding time. It'll be a day to remember.